


All in your mind

by AJ_The_Derp



Category: Phandom
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Love, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Sad, Self Harm, maybe sex??, tw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-30 10:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5160194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AJ_The_Derp/pseuds/AJ_The_Derp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil are crazy in love. But could the anxiety and stress ruin the special relationship they have?  Will the voices take control?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Always. That's what they said. Always. They'd never be apart. Their love was so strong, nothing could ever come between them. They knew everything about each other. Or... I guess maybe they didn't.  
DANS POV

I love him, God I love him so much. I could never understand how he could put up with me. My irritating voice, my gross laugh, my unappealing body. I can't even deal with it, how in the world could such an extraordinary being like Phil deal with it? Want to be with me, to spend time with ME. But I guess I'm just to stupid to realize if we're seperating.  
I've always felt this way about myself, and it used to be worse. I would never leave my house, or even my room. No one ever understood how I felt, and I hated myself for that. I always felt like every breath was a burden for someone else. I never shared my thoughts in school. Always listened on the sidelines. And slowly began to deteriorate, like a log set on fire, and I could feel every flame. During that time, I had given up on my family, friends, basically my life. Anything I'd looked forward to was a thought thrown to the wind, never to be seen again. And I was a stupid boulder with no feeling, and nothing to look up for. But then I met Phil. He knew how I felt , and how much I HATED myself, and he didn't judge me. He encouraged and uplifted me, and I could never repay him for what he did. He fixed the destroyed, and that was absolutely incredible. So now I sit here, in my bedroom, pulling out my own hair, hating what I see, and wishing Phil would come home.


	2. Chapter 2

PHILS POV

 

How. How how how how how. That's all that is spinning in my mind. How do I fix this? How do I begin? How do I apologize? What did I do, how can I get out of this. And then all the voices get louder and louder until they're screaming and though my ears are ringing it's only me. 

God, how I miss the days when Dan and I could simply sit, watch something and cuddle, and nothing ever went wrong. But now I'm slicing all my imperfections while the absolute love of my life sits in the next room feeling worthless. I've always been perceived as this positive little flower. Oh, how I WISH that was more than a distant fantasy with no chance of becoming reality. 

I used to do this, well, way before I met Dan. I always brought a razor to my thigh, arm, stomach, anywhere I felt was necessary. I never felt good enough. Not for my parents, friends, family. Myself. I was a lonely, worthless piece of crap, and I didn't deserve to live. I always felt like the world was breathing down my neck, and the was the only way I could cope. No one ever knew, and I haven't ever told Dan. Not in the state he's in, maybe never at all. My life seemed so pointless at the time. But my mother found out after walking into my room and finding me laying on the floor with a bottle of pills empty next to me. It was then I began to get better. I got help, and was soon fully recovered. Well, as much as was possible. And a few years after that I met Dan, and he made me realize how broken the rest of the world was, and I knew that I could fix at least him. So I tried, and continue. To my knowledge, it seems to be affective. But now I sit in the middle of an empty neighborhood, trying to hold in the urges and the countless tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any feedback, positive or negative, feel free to leave it. I'm open to suggestions as well. Thx..

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic on this site, so thanks for reading!!! I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. Also I want to apologize for any misspellings or mistakes. Cause there's bound to be a few. Thx..


End file.
